It feels like a lot right now because it is a lot

The approach I use when it all feels overwhelming.

If you’ve been saying “things feel extra hard right now” or “I’m stressed out more then ever” or “how the hell did my parents raise a family and go on vacations and own a house on one income?” or “none of my coping skills seem to be working for my anxiety right now” - this post is for you.

Because as much as we try to not lean into a victim mentality, and focus on our well-being, we need to acknowledge what it’s like living in our modern world right now.

I see the housing market and interest rates, how expensive groceries are, fires, earthquakes, how scary it feels sending kids to school in the US (happy back to school season if you’re a fellow mama :) the lack of parental leave or job security for new mothers, terrible mental health support, and overbearing pharma companies and food industries focused on medicating and confusing us.

It feels like a lot right now because it is a lot.

We were literally told by our government that aliens are real this summer and the resounding response was “okay? I don’t have enough energy to care.”

There seem to be two main coping techniques, and I want to share suggestions for a more nuanced approach.

The first is to completely lose ourselves in these circumstances… agree that the world is sh*t, get mired down in the systemic injustice and pain and bad deck of cards. There might be blaming (parents, traumatic elements of past, the environment)… then more discussion of how hopeless things are and that we have no control in life. Things feel hopeless. We feel powerless. And this loop continues.

Mind you, social media compliments this approach like you wouldn’t believe! The algo picks up that you view the world as terrible and it serves you up a full course meal of pain, fear and disappointment daily.

The second mindset is to meet this grief with toxic positivity and hopefulness. It’s scary to actually sit in discomfort; it’s “easy” to try and convince the pain away. So we acquire a chronic unwillingness to acknowledge or speak to the ongoing depth of struggle.

“I’m fine, we’re fine, it’s all fine!” When in reality, it’s not fine, and the physical symptoms of chronic stress or worry will start to manifest soon.